For several days now my husband has been itching to get tickets to the upcoming David Gray concert. He wanted to make sure that we would be near a computer at 10am today so we could log-on to Ticketmaster as soon as the sale started. We rarely go to concerts anymore even though it was a huge part of our pre-kid life together. We are both big music fans.
I love David Gray. I have seen him live before and am thrilled to see him again. (Here it comes…) BUT, given our current uncertain financial situation right now, I was not enthusiastic about this unnecessary purchase.
My husband is a music editor & like so many people in LA, he works in an industry where you make money when you are on a job, and then you live off that money while you are between jobs. We are grateful that he has work right now. And though I really want to remain optimistic, I worry.
Now, you can see what’s coming, right? What I should have done is take a moment to ponder: How does a wife approach this conversation gently? BUT of course I didn’t and instead said something really irritating about how we cant afford this because of X, Y, and Z.
My husband is a kind man. He is pretty easy-going and often lets me get my way just to avoid a hassle. But, I could see that there was something different this time. He was firm and non-apologetic. “I really want to see David Gray.” Though it wasn’t said aloud, I also heard “PERIOD” echo in my brain. So, incredibly, I left it alone.
As I rolled it around in my mind, it occurred to me that I am a music lover and would be disappointed at missing yet another concert that I wished I could go to. Yet for him it’s a bit more than that. He is a musician, a composer, a music maker. He dreams music. When we met he was in a touring band and contemplating that as his life for years to come. Instead, he chose me. I can see now that, for him, missing a great concert is like bypassing inspiration. It’s what keeps him dreaming in stereo.
So, we will shell-out close to $200 for mediocre seats and hope the grandparents can watch our kids that night so we wont have to hire a sitter. BUT my husband will get to feel the light around him brighten a bit and I will get to bask in that glow. Also, I’ll get an awesome night out with my honey and, just maybe, will feel my own illumination as well.