I’ve been looking through Rachel Simmons book, The Curse of the Good Girl. It has a premise that I truly believe in and observe in my own life as a mother and a daughter. Simmons view, in a nut shell, is that by idealizing a cultural stereotype of being a “good girl” we are teaching our girls to squash their true selves as well as their own power and potential. Sort of bitter-sweet, but important information if I am to be the mother I hope to be.
One of my favorite quotes so far: “Nearly every mother I meet wants to know what she can do to empower her daughter…the best thing a mother can do for her daughter is to be herself, with all the challenges that being real entails. Being real means taking up space and having needs; it means drawing the line and saying no. Being real means walking into every room as the same woman, whether you’re in a conference room or a family room. And being real means not just tolerating the messiness of relationship but embracing it as the raw material of a family’s growth and development.
Any kind of authenticity begins with self-awareness; to be yourself you have to know who that is. At the end of the day, the best gift a mother can give is to take – that is, take the time to find herself, set a new example…When a mother’s behavior breaks the rules, she gives her daughter the authority to live by her own.”
Amen, Sister. Now, I’m off to reclaim by inner badass.