I was awake before I even woke up. This is how sleep works with little kids in the house. I know I was woken 2 or 3 times between midnight and 7 am but I can’t tell you when or why. Some mornings I even surprise myself by waking up in someone else’s bed – but not in that “Man, what a wild night!” sort of way.
So this morning my first ridiculous thought was: “Do I have to be a mom today too?!” Apparently I said this out loud because the husband sort of half laughed-half grunted. Indicating that my desire to take a day off was simultaneously astute and painful.
My second ridiculous thought was: “How can I take a vacation?” Apparently this thought was verbalized as, “We need to take a vacation. (Big sigh).” This time, the husband responded with more grunt than laugh. But I was serious. Annoyingly so, I admit, but still…
So what to do when everything you wanted, everything you signed up for is the very thing weighing you down? How can you step away just far enough to infuse yourself with the desire to rush back?
There is something to say for the experience of missing. Today, I think I miss it.