Thank You for my very own bullshit

Sometimes, in conversation with my girlfriends, or my husband, or my therapist I hear myself complaining, and it sounds like this: WAHHHHHHH.  These moments, when I actually catch myself being mindless, can wind up being the best part of my day.

I am reading a fantastic memoir by Tracy McMillan called I Love You And I’m Leaving You Anyway.  This book has infused some serious sense into me.  It’s McMillan’s account of how being the daughter of a white prostitute and a black pimp, as well as being a child in the foster care system shaped her life, and her relationships.  The amazing  thing is, she tells her tale with humor, intelligence and an informal wit.  And in doing so, makes me grateful for my own problems.  While reading, I actually had a moment of grace where I literally spoke to Gd and said, “Thank You for all the bullshit and burden that is my personal struggle.  Thank You for not giving me hers.”  And let me add my thanks for not having to live with the tremendous suffering that so so so many living beings face on a daily basis.

It’s good to have reality slap you around once in a while.  When it does, we’d better listen up.  Because if we don’t it will inevitably hit harder.  We all know people who ignore the heavy dark knocking on their door.  We’ve all been that person.  Life allows for some leeway in these moments.  But, eventually, we have to rise to the call of our own  blessed burdens.


~ with love, always with love,  jrb

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4 Responses to Thank You for my very own bullshit

  1. would it be weird to say: it’s good to know that I am not alone? yah… this speaks to my struggle of the moment… i hope we get together soon!

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